Find a place

Where dreams run freely

Like cruel little children.

You chain me with your melody
And  free me with your terror.

It has been snowing inside your heart
And you don't know where to start
You laugh and you dance
Leaving your life to chance
You stumble upon false hopes
While the child inside you gropes

For something to hold on to.

Every day you build a wall
And make your world very small
You turn the diamond back to stone
And pretend to like being left alone
As Time cuts through the ties
That you weakened with your lies

There is really nothing you can do.

I catch a glimpse of you
In my words.

I cannot help but notice
The beautiful insanity
That creeps into our conservations.

The fiery canvass created for us
Cannot be put out by the tears of pain.

We smile
Even as the scarlet dreams
Want to push us to the brink.

It was meant to be.

The red moonlight dissolves into her dark tresses
As he runs his fingers through the unruly waves.
Her scarlet lips break into a smile.
"Antoinette!"

Locked inside a prison
She shrieks.
Bewildered.
Betrayed.

'I'm Antoinette! Your wife!'

"No. You are Bertha."
Insane. Dangerous. Uncontrollable. 

The air is thick with the intoxicating fragrance
Of blood red blossoms.

The ice-cold wind
Sends shivers down her spine.

He whispers sweet nothings into her ears
While her passionate laughter echoes through his heart.

The savage fire burns the Antoinette's prison down
While her passionate laughter echoes through the walls of Bertha's supposed home. 

I laugh the loudest
At the cliches and the anecdotes.
At the silly jokes and silly lyrics.

I laugh the loudest
When they tell me to.
Because they tell me to.

I laugh the loudest
While they try to veil the horror around us.

I laugh the loudest
When I see the seeds of hope
Crushed.

I laugh the loudest
Because other important people will decide if I have the right to cry.

I laugh the loudest
Even as I die inside.

Because that's what I'm supposed to do.

Maybe one day
My laughter will finally drown the voices that are too terrifying to hear.

Maybe not.

She had startled grey eyes.

Kohl lined.

Full of soft laughter.

He had a wry smile

And mocking eyes.

Ink stained fingers.

I wonder why they never ran into each other.

The memories flow down her cheeks and disappear into the mist around her.
The make-believe moments of clarity
Are hard to bear.
They laugh at her
All made up inside her.

No. She isn't alone.
Her head swarms with other people.

I live hidden inside the clouds of restlessness

My tears form pools of intoxication.

I pick every word like a flower

And use it to adorn 

Stories created inside my twisted little head.

The shimmering starlight breaks into a smile
It has been a while
Since I last saw you here.
Is that fear
I see lurking in your eyes?
The Moon is laughing at your dismal lies.

I walk through the winding streets of hope
Where the wild fragrance of your thoughts still lingers.

I covered your words in velvet
And let the softness drown in my heart.

I read those long forgotten words
And lived again.

Your eyes glisten with stories untold

Your heart swallows tears to quench the fire within.

The screaming silence in your head

Creeps its way into your words.

Shall we die together?
Or shall we take turns?

The smoke that left me smiling
Now stings and burns.

The summer night
With the smell of roses and dust.

The moon
With her ancient smile.

Shadows slip into my mind
And dance.

Why do you whisper in my head
When I can see you?

You are the bright yellow flower
That flew in through the window today.

The dreams drown in the glowing pool of amber
And turn into an immortal intoxicant.
I cup my hands and drink.

I saw my dreams
In your eyes.

I wove a garland
Of your forgotten words.

Don't fly too close to the Sun!
The rays will punish you.

Don't love the immortal Dawn!
Time will maim you.

Don't listen to the voices in your head!
I will lock you up.

Don't yearn to live
Don't ask for death.

Smile.

Sing that song they taught you in school.

Don't sulk.
It's bad manners.

The moon

A scar on the face of the sky?
Or a pearl in the night's oyster?

Your half-closed eyes
Tell me beautiful lies
I dance upon your soul.
You are what I can't be
And all that you'll see
Are the tears mingled with the kohl.

Ghastly Gossamer

Can I perfect the illusion of perfection?

Will ignorant sanity strangle the deadly daydreams
As I try to breathe through the suffocating smoke
Of the macabre magic?
Will the music stop?

The words lie wasted and worthless
Woven into walls
That trap the terrifying transience of thought.

Do you see my struggle?
I yearn for the blind visions of cruel kindness
And the touch of ghastly gossamer.

The web you've woven
The lies you've told
Help us survive
In the world of cold.

Scarlet

We trick the truth

We laugh at lies

And dream of the sun 

With starry eyes.

Untitled

Of Hubris and Hamartia
The horrific tragedy that lurks behind those theories
The soul torn, bruised, bleeding
Truth, Illusion, Desire.

The fatal blow of time
That reduces the flame to dying embers.

Surely death is better?
A glorious end
Without pity or fear.

The awe is addictive
The tears are real.

Can we ever know enough?
Is it enough to know?

You and I

The secret
The elaborate lies.

You said you cannot see me
I hid my body, but bared my soul.

Your eyes
Filled with soft laughter
Sparkling with mockery.

You laugh with me
At me.

I am your mirror
Your best and your worst.

The same demons haunt us
The same impulses drive us
Push us to the brink
And pull us back.

The same ancient signs speak to us
We look around
Dazed
Hurt
Happy.

I am selfish
I long to give you both pain and salvation.

Our journeys and plastic theories
Melt into the summer glow
And my tears.

You could not love my soul
But what am I without it?
A carcass.

Moments

Moments.
Like milestones.
Like melody that melts
Into magic
To mourn the madness of memory.